Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

Trade Show Blog Master

Monday, December 15th, 2008

Blog MasterThe Blog Master is a frightening creature known in the trade show blog world for his enthusiasm, his unyielding compassion, and his sharp, unrelenting sword. In fact, my counterpart in Mashall-Yard contributorship-Carney Nacci-has been living in petrified fear of the blog master’s wrath for over five years. She was working in the carnival business, doing unspeakable things for the almightly dollar, before he “liberated” her. In hind sight, her quality of life was superior doing her infamous “candle” trick at whichever county fair. The blog master pushes a cruel bargain, and she only dreams of refusing him.

If I didn’t introduce the Blog Master to our readership, then I don’t think the proletariat would ever understand the tyranical conditions under which our trade show blog is written. This blog has always been, and always will be, the voice of trade show exhibit people speaking out amidst threats of persecution.

Last month I noted that marketing budgets were changing in the economy. Exhibitors needed the flexibility of a rental booth. The Blog Master stormed into my office and chastized me for spreading bad rumors about the economy. Threatened my life, even. He understands now, since he lost precious billions in a recently debunked ponzi scheme.

Just over a week ago, I wrote an article about carpet padding. A commenter dissented. He no longer reads these pages. He no longer READS. The Blog Master is not naive of IP addresses and their utility for destruction.

RSNAs were a popular topic for myself and “Carney” to blog about endlessly. As soon as the show ended, the Blog Master rattled his saber and demanded we cease RSNA topics. Says we need to start talking about other shows. Like NPE, AIIM, CES, AAOS, HIMSS. He possesses a bottomless hunger for trade show acronyms.

The blog master. That is the latest character that I am revealing here on the Marshall Yard. Comment at your own peril. THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

Someone’s in the kitchen with……

Thursday, November 15th, 2007

So, after the K/BIS post, I had to add the following story that actually happened in my kitchen with my son, who was much shorter at the time, topping out now at 6 foot 4 inches and over 250, he doesn’t even fit in my sisters house anymore, knocking into chairs and walls.  Back to the kitchen and the thanksgiving dinner, I had earlier in the day opened the chicken broth for the stuffing and threw it in the trash, not giving it a second thought, which was a mistake, you should always think of those opened can’s in the trash. 

With all the going’s on of the Turkinator filled morning, what was I thinking of having a 30 pound turkey, that I took out of the freezer four days prior, and he never thawed.  Carting the turkinator to my mothers house earlier the evening before, so it could thaw him in her sink with out the help of my cats licking it thaw.  I rushed home with Turkinator and got the stuffing in the bird, who ever thought of.., lets stuff the insides of a bird with bread crumbs and cook it, let alone and eat it, but anywho.. cleaning up the tidal wave of bread crumbs and celery, DON’T forget whats in the TRASH.. never occured to me. 

Yeah, you could say ouch, as I crammed the garbage down with my hand, it was as if a bolt of bread crusted lighting shot through the palm of my hand.  As I jumped, the blood began to flow, blood everywhere, (not on the turkinator though) all over the floor and my hands as I stood for seconds thinking, what a dumb*$$, my sweet little boy walks in the kitchen, to the blood all over, and my pale face from the loss there of, and looks at me, looks at my hand, and I thought, we are going to have a profound moment here, he is going to help me..my little boy is coming to my rescue!

What rolls out of the offsprings lips… “I’m hungry - can I have something to eat?” As they say, out of the mouths of babes.

Exhibit House Pranks & Gags - Saran Wrap the Car?

Friday, August 10th, 2007

Leave it to the boys in back - they decided they were going to wrap his mother’s car, not his mind you in Saran Wrap! Along with the metal shipping straps for large exhibits and displays that go out of the joint!

Wait til Trevor’s mom see’s the scratches!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5nESI_lQ7A]

Kevin - Coffee Cup Chaos

Friday, August 10th, 2007

Kevin The Turtle and his morning brewSeeking out his morning brew, he ran across this email in his inbox, and had to share it.  Being the clean creature he is….NOT, it struck his little turtle funny bone! The original email was a complaint of dirty coffee mugs left in the conference room:  The follow up email was broadcast from one of our own account executives, after a long day, tucked in her office in the sub zero weather of our sales department, since Deb is flashing, we do have to keep the air cranked! Back to the email.

To the team:

Oh, alas, I am the culprit!  I must throw myself at the mercy of those that this has greatly affected and must beg for your forgiveness for my cruel and thoughtless actions.  Please know that this is something I have been struggling with for quite some time and my secret is finally out.  Hi.  My name is Mary and I am a member of Those Who Leave Coffee Cups Behind in Conference Rooms Anonymous.  I hardly slept a wink last night knowing that someone, somehow would happen upon the coffee cup used by my client that I so carelessly left behind for someone else to bear the burden of having to remove from the room and realize that I am indeed a member of Those Who Leave Coffee Cups Behind in Conference Rooms Anonymous (a founding member, I must add.)  Oh, if you only knew the anguish and pain this has caused in my life.  I find it affecting many aspects of my life.  For example, once I left the coffee pot on ALL NIGHT LONG!!!!  That’s when I hit rock bottom and knew I had a problem and must confront it head on.  So I ask you for your patience as I battle this struggle and appreciate all of your support so that I can one day be a member of the Those Who NEVER Leave Cups Behind in Conference Rooms, as apparently some of you are! 

Mississippi Map Turtle Mascot - Performance Racing Trade Show

Tuesday, July 31st, 2007

kevin-patrick.jpgKevin is at it again, the little Mississippi Map Mascot, while researching Orange Groves last week, stumbled upon the Performance Raching Trade Show.  Kevin recruited our “Only One Man” Patrick - our portable exhibit guy into a road trip! The Performance racing Trade Show will be taking place at the Orange County Convention Center in Orlando Florida - December 6th-8th, 2008.  Last year, there were over 1400 companies that exhibited and with over 1,000,000 square feet of exhibit space.   Kevin read that the requests for larger aisles at this trade show did not fall on deaf ears. 

Patrick and Kevin decided to hunt down an old tour bus from the 1970’s for their wheels this past week. They thought it best to do a trial run, so that they are sure the bus will make it to Florida through our blustery northern winter weather.   The tour bus is a MCI Coach Bus, well belive me you, Patrick and Kevin stocked it full of the amenities, they made sure the turtle food was in stock and that there was plenty of cold one’s in the portable fridge!

MCI stands for Motor Coach Industries, which is located in Illinois, and was started in 1933.  I asked Patrick if he had any background information on the wheels he borrowed for a friend, and he said he was not sure, but rumor has it that a famous singer from the 1970’s may have used it to travel across the country before they were well known.   I belive it over $350,000 for a brand new MCI Bus these days, so the economical solution for Patrick and Kevin was to borrow this one. Since Kevin may be maxing out someone’s credit card, I don’t think they would take to kindly to that sort of charge.

Being that Kevin was a turtle, he didn’t think he could handle the excitement of a performance racing car and decided on the bus.  He heard through the grapevine that Patrick may end up in a ditch if the power under his foot was too much!

Mississippi Map Turtle Exhibit Mascot - Fabtech & Welding

Monday, July 23rd, 2007

kevin-fabtech-copy.jpgFabtech International is coming November 11th - 14th to our back yard in Chicago. Being that Fabtech is going to be in Chicago, Kevin decided he was going to find out just what this welding industry was all about.  He visited McCormick place, but was more enthralled with the new Soldiers Field, news is he didn’t have a field pass, and was out there trying to kick a field goal. 

He went out on the streets, and the little fella forgot his googles, boy, you can lead a turtle to water, but you can’t make him swim! Anyhow, he went to interview some of the welders, and they did tell him safety first!  Being as loveable as a turtle can be though, they opted to talk with him. 

Fabtech has an attendance of over 25,000 and over 900 exhibitors already signed up.  The industry professionals look forward to the array of products that are displayed in varies size exhibit booths.   Kevin thought the most interesting sounding event of the entire trade show would be the Job Fair, he is currently not real sure he likes just hanging out in the sales department, because its to quiet, since Nancy has been on the trade show circuit for some time now,  Deb has behaved herself. 

Therefore he opted to go downtown, the train ride was a bit rough, but he parked his ride at the Barrington Train Station where there was a kind public works gentleman waiting to help him with the fairboxes.  He couldn’t stretch his legs far enough to insert the dollar bill.

He found himself talking with some of the professionals in the industry, metal forming, fabricating, and welders.  He most liked the metal forming, he was interested in the possiblilities of bending and shaping such material in almost any way you can think.  If he could walk on metal with more ease, he would be heading home to design a new structure for his tank for when he grows, FROM THE MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF FOOD he is consuming.  Which brings him to his lunch, he suggests if you get a chance to check out some of the local restaurants downtown, one in particular, he loved was Ron of Japan’s, he sat around a large table and ate ton’s and ton’s of egg sauce. 

Kevin suggested if you can afford it to stay at the Loews Blue’s Hotel, its an electic place, and spins I Dream of Jeannie with the Morrocan theme. If you don’t have the money at least stop in the bar and visit the little room that truly reminded him of I Dream of Jeannie.

Mississippi Map Turtle Exhibit Mascot - Growing

Friday, July 20th, 2007

KevinKevin is growing, and growing, it’s a wonder why, the little mascot eats all day.  Recently we switched over his food, we purchased one with more protien.   If you are interested in Turtle Food you can find a variety.

Kevin has also been scurrying around the front of the tank since we purchased a new rock, unlike our exhibits, this is a more simple design for his ease of use. Which for the first 5 days, he was adamently not wanting to use, but the previous rock, GOT to small since he has become so large.

Its fun to see everyone stop by and talk with Kevin, as if he was human. His closest cube mate Lauren, often blows him kisses, and disgusts our Account Manager for Siemens, Nancy Galford. At one point, the cleaning of the tank almost made Nancy crawl under her desk. After she found out they used her garbage can to facilitate Kevin for a short spell, she ordered a new can. Come on Nancy, get with the program!

Practical Jokes

Tuesday, July 17th, 2007

The halls of Catalyst are often times beaming with screams and at the root of most of those screams is one of our Account Managers - Deb.  When I first came to Catalyst I was fore warned and have only gotten traumatized by the prankster one time.  Hiding behind a door, pretty mild. 

I share with you a story of Deb & her family - it is my understanding it is a family of pranksters and goofs, imagine yourself in Deb’s shoes, she has traveled to San Clemente for a very anticipated family reunion, her flight was one of the last to arrive, she was very excited to see her other siblings, she is one of four.

She had not seen her brothers new domicile and had no clue to where he actually lived.  They approached the home and Deb was beaming with excitement and anticipation of a weekend filled with laughter, food, throw in some booze and most of all spending time with family.  Her brother approached the house and told Deb he was going to pull around back, but to take her bags, and go on in, the kids where waiting, so, being Deb, beaming with enthusiasm for life and laughter she ran up the steps, bag in tow and burst through the door. 

Imagine the horror - when she realized her brother dropped her off at a complete strangers!

Stay tuned for What lies in wait as Deb opens a secret santa gift……

Trade Show Giveaways & Chocolate By: Susie

Monday, July 16th, 2007

Chocolate, Chocolate, Chocolate!  I have recently been reading about trade show give-aways, and just wanted to mouth off, since my back is killing me and I can’t do much more than sit straight up.  I thought I would get on a soap box about my most favorite chachkie,  chocolate. 

I went to the ISSA Trade Show for Janitorial Supplies down at McCormick Place in Chicago, and forgot, I am not 18 anymore and wore heels. BIG mistake on my part, yet, soothing chocolate seemed to get me through the day or was it the envy of the 18 year olds in the really high heels, I dont know, so give me more chocolate.   After trudging through the aisles of toilet paper, vacuums, floor machines, I had to focus - sending my husband back down the aisles of air freshener and window squeegees, he brought me more chocolate coins.

So, my point,  is when you are in doubt, remember people do love to snack, and sometimes, these trade shows can be a bit on the dull side, bring in the chocolate.  Its a winner and its got sugar!

A great blog to read about Chocolate! Some entertaining facts!

Update: By the way, after I moved on from a previous employer, who brought me to the ISSA Trade show, I couldn’t believe the cost of toilet paper, those were some good samples to have around.

There are actually several companies that offer excellent ideas for trade show giveaways and promotional items!

Customer Service

Thursday, July 12th, 2007

My company has instituted a new plan, providing care packages to our clients to use while their booth is being set up. Do you really think this is an added service?

Signed: Personal Touch

Dear Touchy,

I applaud your company in recognizing that GREAT customer service. Satisfaction is an indispensable part of your daily operation and is more than just a financial transaction. In this age of “e” business, most companies and clients have become accustomed to fulfilling orders and requests that are being closed via electronic means, which eliminates all aspects of the human touch. The “art” of personal touch” is a concept that has gone by the wayside.

After talking with you at length, I am very impressed with Catalyst Exhibits’  implementation of this care package. These kits include all the tools that might be needed by your client in case anything comes up on the show floor. This also shows how you are listening to your clients’ small talk and remembering to include some specialty items and treats that he/she may favor, and may have mentioned in casual conversation. I would encourage you to welcome input from others in your company that may have personal contact with the client as well.

Personalization is all about providing information that reflects what you know about a certain customer, and what you know is changing all the time. Recognizing that the set up of a trade show booth can be a long laborious task, this care package sends a positive message of “we know and we care” and provides a distinct message of exceptional customer service. I don’t think that any client can deny that being thought of, or having their needs responded to, is a welcoming feeling in today’s market. In this environment, personalization is critical to helping customers, keep them, and give them the best service in the trade show exhibit industry.

Exhibit House Bathroom Secrets

Tuesday, June 26th, 2007

For this little ditty, you are going to need to write down the following:

  •  5-Adjectives
  •  1-Article of Clothing
  •  6-Action Verbs
  •  1-Verb
  •  1-Animal
  •  1-Plural Noun
  •  1-Type of Drink
  •  1-Favorite Food
  •  2-Names of Male Co-Workers
  •  2-Colors
  •  2-Names of Female Co-Workers

Trade Show Account Management Department MadLib (events from Catalyst Ball)

It was a _________(adjective) evening, the air was crisp and the music was _________(adjective).   I was wearing my best ________(piece of clothing), and had my _________(adjective) lady on my arm.  I was in anticipation for a night of________(action verb), to my surprise I ran into several _________(plural noun) that I have not seen in awhile.  It was good to catch up and find out what they thought about all the ________(action verb) going on in the world.   I drank _______(type of drink) and ate_______(favorite food) until I was about to burst.   The food was fantastic, and the music kept me on my feet through most of the evening. As the evening continued, I accompanied my ________(adjective) woman to the restrooms, and waited for my _______(animal) to emerge from the ladies room.  I heard outrageous ________(action verb), when she emerged, she said to me.  ________(name of man co-worker),  it is utterly amazing what you learn when you are _______(action verb) in the bathroom.  I heard the _______(color) haired one say “she wanted to know what the ________(color) haired one was trying to accomplish with such a _______(adjective) dress on.”  “I than  heard whispers and she said “did you know that ________(name of woman co-worker)_, was going to __________(verb) on the stage later. “  I thought these parties were outrageous, but to my surprise, not only did________(name of woman co-worker) get on stage________(action verb) naked, but so did _______(name of man co-worker). While he was_________(action verb) to top it off.